Take it away, B-WOWW!:
Just Asking: Who's got bigger arms? Ronnie or Sammie...
Sometimes the Joke Tells Itself: "The only thing we care about is getting girls. Getting girls and going to the gym."
Um, Maybe Un-cougar?: What do you call the older woman is Vinnie hooking up with? I bet she lives in an RV, and thar her favorite breakfast food is Skol.
Do You See What I See?: You ever notice when Pauly D is DJing, no one is at the bar?
Fill in the Blank: If you were given one guess to name Snookie's college, wouldn't you're first reaction be "community"?
Remember...it's Community College: It eats away at Snookers that she gave up her last semester of college for the Shore. Can someone remind her of the strict admissions policy of community colleges...
Again, Sometimes the Joke Tells Itself: "Keith and I didn't have sex, don't know why. I bet he's clean".
Priori-what?: Should I get smushed by a guy who refers to himself in the third nickname person, or go home and get up in time for my first day of work?
Ooops, I Guess It Could be Worse: At least your parents and boss won't find out...
Ok, But it Can't Get Any Worse Than That: Crap, they're showing the scene where you left your clothes and your dignity behind...
Sticking it to the Man: Props to Vinnie for laying into the Situation. I wouldn't want to be a (deep breath) 27-year-old-living-by-the-GTL-motto-who-spends-more-time-making-up-excuses-for-not-getting-laid-rather-than-actually-getting-laid either. Extra props for literally sticking it to the Situation by way of his sister...
Pauly D, Spiritual Adviser: Catholics and Jews, apparently like oil and water.
The Jackie Robinson of the Jersey Shore...: Danielle's "no sex until marriage" stance must be a Jersey Shore first
And You Thought the Duck Phone was Hard: Add hot tub to the list of things too hard for Snooki to maneuver
Quick Score Check (Smushing): Situation 1- Vinnie 1. Tiebreaker goes to Vinnie for his smush being with the female Situation
One More Score Check (AC Outfits): Situation 4-Pauly D 3 (don't forget, one night only)
Maybe It was the Bread?: Thanks to the Situation's "rolls" joke, Snookers says she doesn't want to eat anymore that night...after she finished her dinner.
What's the Word I'm Looking For: That girl who jumped on Vinnie and then the Situation, what's the word...oooh wait, prostitute! I knew it would come to me.
Bigger Scumbag: The Situation or Jay Leno?