Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Special Edition Jersey Shore Recap - Reunion Show

And now for the final recap (unless he's doing the "Audition special" airing tonight, haha), B-WOWW with his take on the Reunion Show:

Kids are Stupid, Reason Number 4,000: Giving the Jersey Shore cast a standing ovation.

I Think You Missed the Point: Italians don't hate you because of GTL and thinking t-shirts and corsets are in style...that's why everyone else hates you.

Cancer, it's a Bitch: Everyone had very nice tans, considering it was January. GTL baby!
Well I'll Be: Wow Situation, that analogy you made about being hungry and needing to eat is similar to hooking up with ugly girls was suprisingly accurate. It was dumb, but at this point I'm just glad you showed up to the Reunion and remembered to wear pants.

If a Breakup Appears to Happen, and No Cares, What Sound Does it Make: (yawn)

I See Your Lips Moving, but all I hear is Blah Blah Blah: To recap, Sammi did in fact hit on the cop, lying to Ronnie, something something something. Which means...

Your Relationship Must Really Blow if You're Pissed About that Five Months Later: (That wasn't a setup for anything. That relationship must really blow)

Breakups I was More Upset About Than Ronnie and Sammie: AC Slater-Jessie Spano, Tiger Woods-Ambien induced sexcapades, Lindsay Lohan-Penis (for now), Pluto-Other planets, Bert-Ernie (still good friends).

What a Waste of a Commercial Break: Come on Sammi, the shows only an hour, did you really need to storm off the stage and take up so much time? We could have heard the Situation make more suprisingly accurate analogies. I'm pissed off I have to spend so much time talking about this...

And Remember from Episode 1, She's Classy: Sammi breaks up with Ron Ron on TV.

Yeah, OK: Ronnie: "I cut girls quicker than barbers do, to be honest with you, so she could be right down the list if she wants. I really don't care."

Over/Under on the Number of Minutes Until Ronnie was Crying to Sammi Begging for Foregiveness: 8

Like the Sopranos but with Hair Extensions and Fake Boobs: Sammi and JWoww, unbesties?

And Remember, Death is Not an Option: Stalking an MTV reality show cast member, or getting rejected by a guy referred to as "the douchebag with the blow out"?

This is Gonna End up with a Bunny in a Pot of Boiling Water: It's called a restraining order bro, look into it.

Hot Tub Time Machine: Just wanted to say it again

Just be Glad They Didn't Make you Sit with the Audience: Angelina, hush. No one cares what you have to say.

Video I Want to See in Season 2: Vinny's mom cooking for Lil Situation the next morning...

I Want January 28th in the Breakup Pool: If you're Tommy, and decided to stick it out with JWoww despiting watching her cheat you on a couple of times (don't forget, all his friends watched also), how happy would you be to hear her exclude making out and hooking up from the definition of "cheating"?

Another Video I Want to See in Season 2: More Snooki rejection montages! Poor girl gets turned down more than a hotel bed.

You're at 14 Minutes and 57 Seconds: The cast has come to together and demanded a raise as a group to participate in season 2...a la the cast of friends. Good call guys, since you're so irreplaceable. The only thing funnier than your "celeb status" is thinking there aren't a bunch of assholes like you in the pipeline. Oh, and Snookers, the Poof isn't the Rachel.

1 comment:

  1. I def want a second season of jersey shore, but would be fine with a new cast. Thoughts?